“Trauma survivors are often diagnosed with chronic pain and autoimmune disorders because long-term exposure to cortisol and adrenaline — the fight-or-flight chemicals — causes inflammation in our bodies. Inflammation causes pain, or worse, it causes our immune system to attack itself because it thinks the inflammation is caused by a disease it needs to eradicate.”
— Bobbi Parish, MA“The chronic features of autoimmune disease involve the entire PNI super-system, particularly the brain-hormone-immune connections. The hypothesis that stress-induced PNI imbalances are physiologically responsible for the onset and flare-ups of autoimmune conditions rests on abundant research evidence.”
— Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No
On 22 September 2016, at the age of fifty-six, I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. I’d known for nearly five years that something wasn’t quite right, but MS was the last thing I expected — partly because I almost never got sick. I’d always had what I jokingly called “super-immunity.” While others came down with viruses or infections, I’d sail through unscathed.
It began with a vague weakness in my right leg and a strange tightness on the left side of my pelvis — mild, almost dismissible — until the symptoms steadily worsened and blurred into the chaos of menopause. What started as a minor oddity evolved into something disabling. It took nearly five years to reach a diagnosis.
At first I was baffled. No family history, no context. I knew nothing about MS. But as I read more — and reflected more — things began to make sense. MS is one of many autoimmune disorders in which the body mistakenly attacks itself. For someone like me, who had internalised stress and navigated controlling relationships, I couldn’t help but wonder: had years of chronic stress, trauma and unspoken emotion played a part?
For me, stress remains a powerful trigger. Even now, the smallest emotional upheaval can send my MS symptoms soaring. I’ve learned that managing my emotional and mental wellbeing is every bit as important as any medication. Over time, I’ve also begun to explore how thought patterns and beliefs might not only contribute to illness — but perhaps even play a role in healing.
Everyone’s MS story is different. This page is where I share my stories about living with MS — a collection of posts and reflections on living with MS, resilience, and the ongoing search for balance.