Weirdly enough there are a lot of things that I’m grateful for about having MS and today was one of those times.
My MS symptoms tell me things today that I knew before but chose to ignore in the past. And now I can’t. I know I can’t party on until the wee hours. I know I need a certain amount of sleep and I know I can’t overwork myself or allow myself to get stressed. I know I need to take time out sometimes and do the things I enjoy. I’m also learning that there are things that I eat that upset me. Why on earth didn’t I listen to this earlier when I was well?
Last night I slept badly for no particular reason other than I felt slightly uncomfortable with MS cramping. Not major but along with my cat wailing outside because it was raining, I was kept me wide awake for a good few hours. Come morning I had overslept and I knew I would have problems making it through the day.
I liken the fatigue associated with MS with extreme jetlag and it can get to the stage where it is almost like having narcolepsy. Where everything happens around you but you’re sort of lost in you’re own little dream world and uncontrollably drift off into unconsciousness for a few seconds. Thankfully I only have to close my eyes for less than ten minutes to make a full return to the land of the living but you can’t really do this when you’re at work unfortunately.
Back to today’s feelings of MS gratitude … after last night I knew I either had to take a sick day or work from home because I would be no good to anyone without having a catnap or two. Thank God I did because otherwise I would have been in the midst of a totally unprecedented terrorist attack in my hometown of Christchurch. The central city (where I work) was in lockdown and getting home after the lockdown was lifted was bedlam.
I’ve lived in London where I was caught in the midst of an IRA bomb attack. I’ve lived in Australia and been confronted by a Queensland brown snake coiled and rearing in front of me. I’ve lived in New Zealand when there was a deadly earthquake. In a way you sort of expect these things as being part and parcel of life in the particular area in which you chose to live.
But today’s events weren’t. I never, ever expected for one moment that a terrorist attack on this scale would happen in Christchurch, or anywhere in New Zealand for that matter. To be wounded in a natural disaster or by one of natures creatures doing what they do naturally is a lot easier to take than at the hand of mans hatred and ignorance.
We mustn’t wallow in the awfulness of it all and not do anything. It’s up to each and every one of us not to perpetuate this. This is NOT who we are or what we stand for. It’s a horrible thing but there is a chance that it may make us more united against this sort of blind hatred. I sincerely hope so xx