Conflict of Interest

🐾 Featuring controversial policies, an injured kererū … and a leader discovering that politics is much harder than it looks.

This story is part of The Diary of an Orange Cat — now available as a book and as a complete 24-episode podcast series.

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^{Weasley unveils his controversial “Chip and Snip Mandate” while Squeak begins to fear the worst}

STORY OUTLINE

Fresh from his unexpected promotion to Leader of the local cat Cabinet, Weasley is determined to make his mark on Diamond Harbour. Before long, Cabinet business is interrupted by a rather unfortunate kererū that crashes into the ranch slider above the meeting. As the cats attempt to organise a rescue operation, an unexpected visit from the Peninsula Post raises awkward questions about family appointments, conflicts of interest and whether Weasley has surrounded himself with relatives rather than the most qualified candidates.

Beneath the political satire, however, lies a quieter story. Weasley has recently moved house and is still struggling to adjust to his unfamiliar surroundings. Although determined to project confidence as leader, he discovers that finding his way home may prove more difficult than running a government.

The story affectionately pokes fun at coalition politics, political slogans, media scrutiny and the sometimes chaotic realities of leadership, all viewed through the eyes of one slightly bewildered orange cat.

BACKGROUND

Conflict of Interest was written during 2023 as the political landscape in both New Zealand and overseas continued to generate headlines about leadership, ministerial appointments, public scrutiny and perceived conflicts of interest. Rather than parodying any single political event, the story borrows familiar themes from modern politics: ambitious policy announcements, accusations of nepotism, carefully managed press conferences and the tendency for even the best-laid plans to unravel in spectacular fashion.

The “Chip and Snip Mandate” grew from a simple conversation about compulsory microchipping but quickly developed into a satire of the way political slogans can sometimes take on a life of their own. Meanwhile, the injured kererū introduces an entirely different crisis, forcing Weasley’s inexperienced Cabinet to improvise under pressure while trying to avoid becoming tomorrow’s headline.

The house move described in this chapter was inspired by Weasley’s real move only a few hundred metres up the road. Like many cats, he was kept indoors while he adjusted to his new surroundings — a perfectly sensible precaution that Weasley himself regarded as an outrageous infringement of his civil liberties.

THE REAL CATS

The real Weasley had no interest whatsoever in becoming a political leader. After moving house, however, he did exactly what many cats are tempted to do—he escaped before he had properly settled into his new surroundings. The result was several anxious days before he was finally lured into a humane cat trap and safely brought home. The photograph below shows Weasley after his rather undignified adventure.

The real Weasley, a ginger cat, sitting inside a humane cat trap after going missing following a house move. — ^{The real Weasley after being safely caught in a humane cat trap following his escape after moving house}.

This chapter also sees Smokey O’Neill take on a much larger role in the group. His remarkable backstory is based on a true event. In late 2022, the real Smokey disappeared from Diamond Harbour. He was away for around six months before eventually being found in Motukarara — nearly 25 kilometres from his home. His microchip was scanned and he was safely reunited with his family, but how he came to be in Motukarara remains a complete mystery.